But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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