Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
