Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
