so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
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