Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
