She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
