Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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