There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Randomize
