it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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