he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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