I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
