you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
