You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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