I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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