Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
My feet surprised me
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
