How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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