This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
