oh god the rape fog is back!
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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