Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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