Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
honey bunches of taint.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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