i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
