My nipple is on Facebook.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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