and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
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