Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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