Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I just want to make out with him forever
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
