You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I think my vagina is haunted
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize