My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
