I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize