I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Woke up backwards on a recliner
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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