Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
