i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
