I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
