just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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