I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
