I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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