He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
