have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
