I need help removing her.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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