I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
