everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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