Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
