i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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