Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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