Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
