Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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