Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
