Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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