were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
