don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
