but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
