I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize