So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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