I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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