quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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