Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You made out with two different species that night
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
