America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
