is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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