shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize