I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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