so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
