i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
