her vagina looked like bernie madoff
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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