I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Green mimosas i think yes
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
BRING THE BAGELS
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
