New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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