It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
