He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
