Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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