Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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