So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
