Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize