I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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