How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
