Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
