if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
