I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
